So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
