I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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