we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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