This dress was meant to end up on your floor
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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