So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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