All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
