Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
people are starting to question the shark bite story
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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