you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
