We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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