Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
