My hand turned me down
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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