He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
