The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
