Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
