Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
