the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
