doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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