She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
