Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
