I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
