btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
