i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
