I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
should my penis look like a turkey
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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