So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
