Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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