Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
