I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
vagina is talking i cant
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
