ugly people sure do ruin things
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Randomize
