Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
tell me about the eggs
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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