there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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