you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
