So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
