Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
