In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
