Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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