I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's no shave November. This is our time.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
