if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Randomize
