Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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