Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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