And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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