I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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