Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
