Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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