Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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