When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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