He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
