And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
