Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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