I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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