"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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