So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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