dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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