Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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