also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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