just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
