Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
